RWBY's Rants
by RamenofShadows
Summary: Previously Jaune's cookie rant, Has a lot of swearing, And is going to be all the main characters of RWBY!
1. Jaune's Cookie Rant

_Something I wrote in boredomXD one word was edited in this._

"Lemme talk about fucking Ruby. The other day," he begins as he clicks his tongue. "The other fucking I'm in the cafateria, eating my dinosaur shaped fuckin cookies right? and she walks in and sits down, RIIIIIIGHT on my lap. And she's all like, 'COME OOOOOOOOOOOOON! Your cookies are like my favorite!' And im just there, trying to enjoy a meal. AS I DO, with my cookies, and 2 percent milk. Not that skim shit, but SHE WOULD NEVER KNOW THAT! And she sits on down ta me, all teary eyed and shit! and guess what she says! Guess what she says! guess what she says! 'Pwease?' FUCK YOU GIRL! I KNOW I LEFT SOME OF THE COOKIES IN THE CONTAINER, SO WHY THE FUCK YOU TRYIN TO GET MINE! ADORABLE PIECE OF ASS, POUTIN MOTHER FUCKER! I LEFT THEM THERE, FOR YOU, SO **THIS** WOULDNT HAPPEN, BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU GOT SOME FUCKIN RAISEN COOKIE SHIT, MOTHER FUCKIN WEISS MADE THE OTHER DAY, AND YOOOOOOOOOOOU GRABBED 'EM. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOO! GOTTA TAKE JAUNE'S COOKIES! JESUS!" He said huffing at the end.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Ohhhhhhhhhkaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy then..." Ren stated. Everyone looked at Jaune, Who had gotten his breathing under control again, before Ruby spoke.  
"I know you like how we shared them though." She said with a slight pout


	2. Nora's Pancake Rant

_Alright, this time it's Nora! This is one of my most popular stories so, using the same beggining, i'm going to do one of these for the main characters of all my fandoms since you guys seem to enjoy itXD should be greatXD_

* * *

"Lemme talk about fucking Ren! The other day," she began as she clicked her tongue. "The other FUCKING day, Ren sat down with, and was all, "Nora, it would be advantageous for you to do your homework." and im all like, "But REEEENNNN, its so BORING" and he just looks at me, just FUCKING looks at me, and says, "Well, then ill make you pancakes." and guess, the FUCK WHAT!? HE NEVER FUCKIN DID! HE JUST FORGOT LIKE A GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKIN GOLD FISH AND IT MAKES ME SO DAMN MAD!" seeing the others at the table trying not to laugh only making her angrier. "IM SERIOUS GUYS, IM LIKE A GOD! DAMN! JIGGILO, READY TO BURST, AND HES ALL LIKE, NO! ANOTHER 10 MINUTES _AT_ _LEAST!_ But guess what? I NEVER GOT MY GOD DAMN, MOTHER FUCKING, SYRUP JIZZING, BUTTER LUBING PANCAKES! So tell me REN! WHAY THE FUCK DIDNT I GET MY PANCAKES!?" Silence. (other then Nora's panting) awaiting the boys answer. "Because you never finished your homework... You fell asleep..."

* * *

 _RANT TWO IS COMPLETE! :)_


	3. Pyrrha's Berry Rant

_And its time for Pyyrah. Also note, that this isn't really based on anything. I just saw something on youtube, and made them. And while theres OBVIOUS referances, this isn't based on, or inspired by them. theyre JUST references. So without further ado, PYRRHA, FUCKING! NIIIIIIIIIIKOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSS!_

* * *

Truth or dare. An amazing game played for, well, however long it's been around. Many feelings have been hurt, many questions answered, many friendships. Ended. Now... Throw all that the fuck oughta the window, and teams RWBY and JNPR are playing together, at RWBY's leader Ruby's, insistence. And Pyrrha was staring her dare card in the face. "Tell 3 people what you've always wanted to say to them." it, and she, read. "Alright. Well Nora, I guess i'll start with you." getting a happy nod from the girl. TAking a deep breath, she let it all out. "Nora... Why the FUCK, is your favorite food pancakes? If you cant eat it without syrup, then it can NOT be your favorite food! Just like how god damn, mother fuckin, cheese, and Hamburgers cant! It is NOT one food! It's FUCKING multiple! Holy fucking shit people, specify! if you say chocolate is, then I get you dark chocolate, and you fucking vomit, that's your own god damn fault! It's still fucking chocolate, but NOOOOOOOOOO! Someone, didn't SPECIFY!"

"AND YOU! *Turns to Jaune* Why the are you so useless sometimes Jaune? Like holy FUCK! YOU had to have mother fucking, weak ass, dipshit RUBY open a bag of fucking kale chips!? AND THEN SMACK THEM OUT OF HER HANDS AND STORM OFF?! WHAT! The ABSOlute FUCKING kinda bull Anas is that?! Fucking "Oh help me! I cant open a bag of fucking chips by my dipshit self, and need a weak ass person to do it for me like a like mommas boy BITCH!" SERIOUSLY JAUNE!?"

"and you... *turns to Ren* Why in the absolute fucking hell, god's dick sucking hell, give you the fucking right!? I MEAN I type you a TWENTY-TWO page text, about my day, because you, the Ostridge dick sucking fuck you are, sends me back. a fuckin, god damn, fucking piece of shit, mother fucking, ass hole sucking, dark spawn loving, ZEBRA TEETH MOTHER FUCKING K? or O? WHY THE FUCK CAN YOU JUST ADD THE K OR O NEXT TO EACH OTHER YOU FUCKING SLOTH RAPIST? ARE YOU THAT, GOD DAMN LAZY?!"

"Pyrrha?"

"What, Ruby?"

"Have a snickers, your not nice when your hungry..." as Pyrrha took a few nibbles on the offered treat, Ruby asked, "Better?" Throwing the candy like a missile, Pyrrha shouted, "NO! I'M NOT GOD DAMN BETTER! I'M STILL FUCKING PISSED!"

* * *

 _And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don't fuck with Pyrrha... Anywhoo, the Glynda rant IS happening, but im getting all the students outa the way first. Also, and I hate doing this, and im only doing it once, but if any of you want to check out my youtube channel, its, "Ramen of Shadows" I HATE advertising, but I might as well post it once, right?_


End file.
